walk of faith .

有个人

2011-09-28T00:18:00.003+08:00

有一段日子没写日记了，不知道是不是长大了，习惯把东西收在心里，还是有一些事情想刻意把它忘记。

我想，应该是吧。

今晚的天气是多么的冷，手脚都冷冰冰的，冷到心都麻木了。

其实我早已经习惯一个人的生活，也没什么大不了，只是身边少了一个人而已。偶尔也有人出现，打乱那寂寞的心灵。

有个人，陪我度过了无数寂静的夜晚。

他，说我固执，鼻子长得比眼睛还高，说心里话总是口不对心。

他，让我成长，让我面对自己的不好。

他，是唯一能让我屈服于他的人。

但是，他也是唯一让我看见男人花心的一面。

一个人怎能同时喜欢两个人呢?

你的甜言蜜语真的很假，偏偏我相信了。

相处了三天，我知道我们的价值观都不一样，不可能在一起。

现在，我们行同陌生人，往事如烟。

偶尔我也会回味这个人的出现，至少他让我的回忆增添了一些色彩。

Nothing ever happened .

2011-08-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

Hey, you once called me your baby,
say it for the last time,
with all your strength and meaning it this time.

Hey, you once promised me the world,
but I never asked for it.

Hey, you once praised me beautiful,
why I'd get get weaker?
why would I get weaker?

oh Please, please don't,
I am so scared, scared you're too perfect for me,
or am I too naive for you.

Either way it's too late,
too late for regrets, I'm hurt.
Leave me out of love,
leave love out, leave me out.

Hey, let's just pretend,
nothing ever happened.

New people, new life .

2011-07-26T12:17:00.002+08:00

We study, we play, we laugh, we smile, we cry, we eat, we drink, we got drunk.

They are the best people I've met in Perth so far :)

Cheers, to our friendship.

Blue night.

2011-04-14T23:28:00.003+08:00

点着唇里的烟, 寂寞的夜晚让酒陪伴.
仰望满天星星, 我想你了.
不再去说从前, 我们回不到那天.
你已成回忆, 就让它随风飘逝.

有些话未曾说, 就让它埋在心里.
放不下那永远, 心中的不舍没人懂.
把从前想了一遍, 却发现了后悔.
从来没想过, 一个人会那么累.

一路的追逐, 不停的寻找.
付出过的真心, 奉献过的眼泪.
你让我爱上薄情的红唇, 换来的是寂寞.
人生如戏, 我还能爱谁?

That night.

2011-03-29T03:06:00.002+08:00

I still keeping those photographs and remember the way we kissed.
Underneath my bed, keeping our memories inside the box,
Where you gave yourself to me, where I gave myself to you.

The last time you kissed me goodnight, was the only thing I could asked for.
Wish time was standing still, till I opened my eyes,
You left me with some kind of prove its not a dream.

Another love I had to push aside, there's no more us.
I had to surrender, I'm not the one your heart is missing.
It wasn't genuinely, I shouldn't been trying to prove.

What we had was all we'd ever need.
I'm not your only exception, I'm your extra one.

that night ♥

The moment I have you on my mind.

2011-03-08T22:33:00.002+08:00

List of songs that meant a lot to me where they reminds me of something & someone wonderful in my life.

Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
Right Now - Akon
Beautiful - Akon
Orange County - Stefy
Home - Michael Buble
I Don't Want To Talk About It - Rod Steward
Paint My Love - MLTR
Rocketeer - Far East Movement
Thinking of You - Katy Perry
What You Waiting For - Colby O'donis ft Mizz Nina
爱的路上只有我和你 - 任贤齐
男人不该让女人流泪 - 苏永康
祝我生日快乐 - 温岚
下雨天 - 南拳妈妈
没那么简单 - 黄小琥
晴天 - 周杰伦
彩虹 - 周杰伦
记得 - 张惠妹
Kiss Goodbye - 王力宏
错的人 - 萧亚轩

Hasta la vista, baby .

2011-02-25T17:29:00.004+08:00

You asked me whether I'm angry at you or not, my answer was a no. I couldn't find any reason to angry at you because I know things will happen when both of us were so far away. All I could blame is just the time and distance which brought us apart.

Dramas does happened when I came back, but for once I'm glad that the friendship still exists. Nothing is more important than friendship because when shits happen, friends will be the first one who back you up. Human can live without their lovers, but not their friends. This is what I learned from the past.

However recently, I was disappointed. Things just got better but it was ruined again. Your words broke our friendship apart. I couldn't blame anyone else because misunderstandings do occur when someone intent to create a fight. Once the trust has gone, there's no point to continue everything anymore.

Thanks for the memories, but because of your words, I felt disgusted of everything now.

My love was true, still you threw it all away. But now you’re like the rest, unworthy of my best. Hasta la vista, baby.

Holiday kicks .

2011-02-21T20:28:00.007+08:00

Hey lovelies, sorry for being mia for so long. I'm finally back from holiday at my homie land ♥ . I've been wanted to go back to Malaysia for so long and have been expecting tones of fun from TBS. No doubt, TBS never ever disappoint me for once. I really have to thanks TBS who waited at KLIA for an hour (due to flight delayed) to pick me up and organized an unofficial gathering at mamak once I landed (:

My first TBS outing with them after 6 months, latuk ng's birthday.

Winnie and I ♥

Second outing with TBS at Sepang Goldcoast (:

My pattern bro, limmyx ♥

The girls with jump shot ♥

peace ♥

Both pattern photographer ♥

CMx and Winnie ♥

Limmyx and Fifi ♥

Samuel and Calista ♥

Third outing with TBS at 32 Bar and Bistro, celebrating YouWei's 20th birthday (:

Jeff and I ♥

Two pattern kias

Limmyx and Rabak ♥

Bottoms up, kick lai ♥

Three of us were the most steady that night out of all of them

YouWei, CMx and Latuk Ng.

Jack :)

Birthday boy got drunk at the end of the night :)

This year's Chinese New Year celebration is a failure. I didn't really enjoy much compared to last year but it was fun seeing my cousins again.

My babes drinking at Airport, Ipoh ♥

Ipoh kaki

My last official outing with TBS at Opera top floor celebrating Winnie's birthday (:

Latuk, Jeff and the birthday girl ♥

Had my first sip of Graveyard, it taste bitter!

& lastly, birthday party at Winnie house ♥

Time flies without our knowing. I had hell lots of fun with TBS this one whole month and wishing so badly that I wouldn't need to go back to Perth.

Dear TBS, I would like to thank all of you that you guys still remember my existence and willing to spend your time with me when I'm back. Thanks for all the drunk kicks, prank kicks, dota kicks, joke kicks, food kicks, neway kicks, gamble kicks and smoke kicks. I appreciate you guys from the bottom of my heart.

& lastly, there's something I need not to say. I'm glad and it will remain forever silence in my heart, we are who we are ♥ .

Decisions.

2011-01-06T13:08:00.005+08:00

从出生开始直到死的那一刻, 我们一共要做超过两千万个选择.
人有选择的自由, 但没有不选择的自由.
这个世界充满了选择, 每一个选择都反映着和影响着我们前面的路.
在这些选择当中, 总有一些我们后悔的, 想要重新选择.
想重新选择, 是因为我们不喜欢现在的自己.
而你会重新选择停留在过去还是往前走呢?

- 东风破

This Christmas.

2010-12-28T11:38:00.007+08:00

Christmas in Perth is extremely boring, no joke. I had a special christmas eve this year, where I spent my whole night in the casino. Oh well, at least I've been to the casino now and won money in roulette again. After casino, we went to a club for countdown but it was too last minute and we missed the countdown. Had a fun time on the dance floor with the boys and back to casino for gamble again. We are such a gambler, I know right.

Had christmas dinner the next day and celebrated cousin's birthday. My second christmas in Perth after 7 years, without my parents this time.

My family in Perth.

Birthday cake.

Birthday girl (:

Went to the beach on Boxing Day for cousin's BBQ party. No work, no shopping, but beach under the very hot sun which is 40degree on that day. I don't enjoy the hot sun because it felt like I'm burning under the sun. It is worst than Malaysia.

Anyway, I've took some pretty good pictures that day. Feel pretty satisfied and happy for the pictures (:

Golden sand.

Pretty girl.

The HOT guys.

The sun, sand & shadow.

The love bird.

我不是一定要你回来, 只是当又一个人看海,
回头才发现你不在, 留下我迂回的徘徊...

Home.

2010-12-23T22:42:00.004+08:00

Chinese Winter Flour Ball, one of the chinese tradition.

Every year of this day, grandma, mummy, sister and I will make this in the kitchen except for this year. People grow up when they leave home, and this is so true. I grew up, becoming more independent each day. All those hard works and hard times are preparing me to face the future bravely.

Sometimes I'm still wondering is this the right choice to come over here? Oh well, no matter what the answer will be, there will be no turning back anymore.

I still feel grateful everyday because mama say home is where the heart is.

Hold.

2010-12-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

The night is as quiet as usual. I'm starting to get use to being alone at this silent night, filling up the empty spaces in my heart with loneliness. No wrong being alone, at least I can hear my heart clearer.

I was in denial all this while. I run, I hide, not willing to let anybody touch this wound. I don't mention because I know I will think about you. Between you and I, I'm just the unlucky one. I had my feelings all in, apparently it wasn't the same for you.

The lover that stays always hold the place. & the truth is we weren't genuinely. I can only trust myself from now on.

Running away.

2010-11-28T23:52:00.002+08:00

I've finally completed sem 1 here in Perth. Surprisingly, I manage to survive until now especially those heart breaking moments that happened right before my finals. Yes, I was strong enough to go through it alone by myself. I am still quite shock the way how I went through it.

I will be back to my homeland in one and a half month time. I should and suppose to be excited that I'm going home soon. But honestly, I don't feel that anymore. Everything happens for a reason behind it. Running away from reality is my expertise. I know people change from time to time. They are always in my heart, my best best buddies, but things aren't not the same that I want it to be anymore.

In life, I've learned that shits always happen. Nothing comes perfectly, expectations will just pull you down even more. I don't expect now, I'm just hoping for a better tomorrow everyday. I understand that no matter how tired I am, I have to stand up and be strong because there won't be anyone that could let me rely on.

Things that left with me are those memories that I adore. All those crazy shits we did were my life time experience, I will keep it with me as I grow up. I learned from my mistakes and thanks to those who poke me, wake me up from my dream.

I'll live a better life from now on, I hope.

终点 .

2010-11-04T19:02:00.002+08:00

夜深了怎么办, 我又开始想起你.
不敢打给你, 我找不到原因.
别说你有多抱歉, 一开始我们就不应该在一起.
始终等不到你的出现, 你还是把我丢下.

爱上你我终于明白, 寂寞的滋味.
你让我心动, 你让我心痛.
为你总是等到天亮, 你是否对我付出过真心?
习惯了等待, 失眠的声音越来越熟悉.

一直以来我都坚强, 脆弱的时候没人懂.
其实结局很明显, 也知道你离开的原因.
没办法相信这一切, 因为我知道你是真的.
距离真的好恐怖, 它把你变成了一个陌生人.

一个人擦泪, 一个人真的好累.
怎样的我才会让你想念?
还是, 你应经忘记我的存在.

Wave to love.

2010-10-31T23:27:00.002+08:00

She wakes up in bed with a broken heart,
he is sitting at the local bar thinking of thousand words to make it up to her.
And we don't know how we got into this situation.
Trying to make things work, but this time is hard.

We don't feel right, something has gone wrong.
All these times are hard, don't give up on me baby.
I'm close to tears, for the first time we have this feeling.
You give up, I have to go.

I don't regret, I appreciate.
This time I won't delete all the memories, because they are from you.
It reminds me how beautiful we were, but we ain't right for each other.
You make me strong, I'm now a big girl.

The sky is filled with stars, the moon has our shadow.
I told myself, these are memories.
You have her in your arm now, it's time to go.
Thanks for the memories, my last word.

一个人 .

2010-10-15T00:20:00.003+08:00

放下那里的一切, 一个人来到陌生的地方.
远离喧闹的城市, 无声的夜特别寂静.
距离把我们分开, 它真的遥远得很可怕.
对放下的一切有多么的不舍, 没人能理解.

人本来就寂寞, 是谁的出现把一切给弄乱.
一次又一次的失望, 一开始就不应该有希望.
每次只有空谈, 而我也傻呼呼的相信.
你给的那些承诺到底在哪里?

知道不能太过依赖, 我会试着截止一切.
其实寂寞寂寞就好, 习惯了一切就安好.
一个人没什么不好, 只是少了安慰拥抱.
就算心再痛, 都要微笑带过.

这个肩膀不再属于我, 是时候把借来的幸福还给你.
我会伪装, 是因为我真的爱过.

Memories.

2010-10-14T00:41:00.003+08:00

Clicking on the playlist, listening to the songs I've abandoned long time ago.
They are always my love. Each of them represent the very special memories of my life,
but I chose to avoid them. Because they are my weakness.
They always hit me down when I heard them, I miss my happiness.

I don't know how I got into this mess, maybe its when I make this decision.
Staying in the past won't help, but they were too beautiful.
I should look forward. I tried, but I fail myself.
There's always a space for them in my heart, nobody can replace those moments.

I am still here seeking for the first time we fell in love, they were wonderful.
The wonder of it, is you just don't realize how much I miss you.
Tired of guessing and waiting, tell me if you miss them as much as I do.
Why hide me from the rest, I wondered.

但愿人长久, 千里共婵娟.

2010-09-22T13:58:00.004+08:00

明月几时有, 把酒问青天
不知天上宫阙, 今昔是何年
我欲乘风归去.

月圆人团圆, 又到了中秋时节. 今年的中秋节跟已往不同, 人在外地总是会特别想家.

家永远是最温馨的一个地方, 你们想家了吗?

Sorrow shows.

2010-09-20T17:31:00.002+08:00

We used to be so beautiful together, everything seems perfect at that moment. No doubt it was the happiest memory you gave me so far, but time is a bitch. It changes everything.

I know this is never going to be easy, it is expected to be this hard. We are supposed to go through this together, yet I can't see you any where. I've tried my best to work it out and put in every effort I can just to make sure everything goes right between us. Am I trying too hard or not doing good enough? Things are not getting better, they are getting worst and drifting us apart.

Again, I've tried to pick up the broken pieces and patch things up. What made me felt so heartache all these time was, I'm doing this alone. I felt so helpless and lost the whole time. Don't blame me for being emotional, I'm filled with worries and insecurity. How much do I wish you were there with me to solve everything out. I really hope you will.

I can't deny that you have my heart. By saying the simplest thing, you can always make me smile; I'll forgive you each time you apologized even you hurt me so bad. And boy, you have all my trust. No matter what you did to make me feel so miserable, I'll still love you, and this is not going to change.

I'm back to zero now, to the one with no confidence. Tell me everything is okay, tell me you will be here for me and be the hero in my heart. At times I'm trying to be on my own, but I still need you. Hold me and go through it with me together; do something and prove to me that you are worth my heart.

But I had to let you go.

2010-09-09T23:12:00.002+08:00

No, I can't forget the day I'm leaving.
We both know this is cruel, but I guess that's the only way.
You can tell from my eyes, that I've probably been crying forever.
Oh, you never say, never let me know once.

Boy, you gave me faith because you believed.
Now look at us, how we broke our heart.
We don't talk the way we used to talk, I can't help but teared.
It used to be sweet, now it's hurting me deep.

If I stay there just a little bit longer,
If I stay there, will our story goes wrong?

I've been standing here all alone, looking at us.
The smile that can't pretend no more, the sorrow shows.
I'm not that kind of girl that you can let down, and think everything's okay.
Your superwoman won't be me, I can't be.

Oh baby, feel it in the bottom of your heart,
I'm always there for you through all the good and bad times.
Gave you all my love, but what you gave me in return.
I can't give anymore, it's just a piece of broken heart.

You are always my everything, because you loved me.
If I know living without you will be this hard, I wouldn't want to live.
The stars we had, they mean nothing to you anymore.
I don't want to talk about it, how we abandon our love.

All I wanted was you. And now I've got you,
but I had to let you go.

For you, love.

2010-09-01T15:39:00.003+08:00

The way we met is pretty normal.
I met you once, then I never see you till March.
We weren't close at all. We barely talked.

I gave you bad impression, but I wouldn't bother.
Because I don't know you.
I used to have perception on you,
and I thought you were one of those spoiled kids.

It started with a phone call unexpectedly, where you asked me for direction.
Things slowly turned good in between us, it became great during the trip.

The first night we talked was simply perfect.
It wasn't a heart to heart talk, but it changed the way I see you.
You annoyed me. You told me the silliest story I've ever heard,
and you touched my heart.

Since that night, I started to notice you.
I think you are cute in a way, the way you are.
I like the way you annoyed me, even though I found it really annoying sometimes.

I don't know how and when it happened, we started to text each other.
You called me at night after we came home,
and we would talked few hours laughing happily on the phone.

One night, you confessed to me.
I never took it seriously, because I thought you were drunk.

One time, you hold my hand, told them I'm your girlfriend.
You sent me home. You gave me a hug out of sudden.
"Goodbye, take care of yourself there. I'll miss you," you said.

I was curious, I had questions for that. I didn't ask,
because I just love how the way it was.

I begun to listen to my heart. I followed my feelings.
Then I broke up with him.
I started to have feelings for you, but I was afraid.
Who knew you would confess to me again.

Your smile, your words on our last night, keep my heart warm always.

I will never forget the night I left. The feeling was so strong.
The way you hold my hand, it was so tight.
The way you look at the window, from your expression, I know you were sad.

My heart was pouring in rain.
I gave you my last hug, and left.
When I turned around seeking for you, my vision was so blur.
I realized, I teared.

I never want any commitment from you, I just wish for our feelings could stay there forever.

You gave me the courage to love you.
You said we can do it. I trust you,
and I said yes.

Everything happened too quickly, just a blink of eye.
But I know what we had was genuinely, it is until now.

However, sometimes God fools you around, making your life more miserable.
When you thought things are fine now, they change in the next second.

Things did not went smoothly as we thought.

There were times I got so depressed that I cried myself to sleep again.
There were times I got so mad and being fierce to you.
There were times I wished you were there with me, but you weren't there.
There were times we both cried because we were sad that distance brought us apart.

Till today, the problem is still here, waiting for us to solve it.

Do you know how sad am I when I see us got into this situation?
I just want us to be happy and sweet like we used to be.
Do you know why am I angry when you came home late?
Is because I'm worried about you the whole time.
Do you know why I always wait for you to come home till late night?
Is because I miss you too much that I can't even fall asleep.

Do you know, baby?

No matter how worried, how sad, how angry I am,
by saying the simplest things, you always make me smile.

I hope we can fix this right. I know we can.
You are the reason I can hang on till now,
so don't give up on us, don't let distance drift us apart. Because,
I'll hold you in my heart till the day I can hold you in my arms again.

I love you, William Ng ♥

I don't want to talk about it.

2010-08-31T21:26:00.002+08:00

Life always has its ups and downs, I guess I'm currently at the bottom of my life now. Everything seems so fucked up, and I'm totally clueless on how to solve it. First in my life time, I feel so lost and helpless. I can stare at the window in the bus for the whole journey and my mind is blank all the time.

Sometimes I wondered, is this part of growing up, being independent? Why must I go through the harder way compared to the rest? I'm not strong, I'm never strong. You people always get me wrong, because back then, I will never show you guys the weakest side of mine, only few of you have seen it. Even my parents, they thought I'm strong enough to go through all this. In fact, I'm not. I can't tell my parents that I regret coming here. This is not the right time to back out and I don't have the chance either. All I can do is keep it to myself.

I hasn't sleep well this few days, most of the time was awake at night till the sun rises. I'm so tired, both physically and mentally. I can even injured my leg, doing things wrongly, screw my test for no reason, and I cried till my eyes were too tired and heavy to open. I'm so sick of seeing myself being like this. I hate for letting myself got into this sucky situation, I hate for torturing myself. Don't make me pick up the bad habit again, I don't want to.

Living in a life without a soul, this is what I am now. I really miss myself back in the old happy days. I don't know how long I can stand living in this way, I can, may collapse anytime. By then, I'll seek for my soul and go back to place I belongs to.

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. All I want is my happiness and you.

什么都不是.

2010-08-29T01:30:00.002+08:00

看着爱逐渐成长, 慢慢看着它一段段落幕.
它可以如此完美, 也可以留下无限的瑕疵.
昨天幸福还在, 今天却不见踪影.
是你不在乎, 还是我不懂.

凌乱的心, 还给你打开我心房的钥匙.
不想寻找爱的影子, 只会让我更痛苦.
我想听解释, 但一字一句不能诠释.
你的背影, 我的泪水, 如此模糊.

满满的心事, 你我就这样到此为止.
抱歉我还不了你给的幸福, 它真的太沉重.
爱一点一滴地流失, 舍不得但坚持不了.
昨天会是今天以后的回顾, 从此关上了门.

告诉你我很好, 不愿让你知道我有多苦.
说我会忘了, 只是让人掩人耳目.
我在人潮中渐渐消失, 不必再寻找,
从今以后, 你我什么都不是.

It's your day.

2010-08-25T23:01:00.011+08:00

I used to feel happy or excited that my birthday is coming but now I don't, because I know nothing special gonna happen.

On the exact day, I told myself, "Be happy, is your day." No matter how hard I tried to put a smile on my face, I still feel the disappointment in my heart. I know what I'm looking for is not going to happen, and I know my birthday wish is an impossible wish.

The night before my birthday, I was having a small celebration at Rubix. It was organized by my lovely cousin, Demi. Thanks for organizing this small little celebration for me, I really need a drink that night.

3 girls on his lap, lucky you Colin (:

So here it goes, my first shot.

The little shot contains 75% alcohol and above, 2 drinks at once.

♥

My cousin and I

After the clock stroked to 12, I got my birthday wish from people I adore and love. They are the best damn thing that appear in my life, especially you.

That night didn't end well, it ended with tears. I cried myself to sleep on my previous birthday, so do this year. What about next year then? I hope that night was just a dream, but I woke up with scars in my heart. I know, all of this are true.

I was pretty tipsy that night, but I wasn't drunk enough to release myself.

My birthday cake ♥

Yours truly.

Aunt and uncle.

Cousin and aunt.

Cousin (:

It is always warm to have family by your side and celebrate birthday with you. I'm glad I have one, even though my parents are far away from me.

My uni friends.

A little birthday cake from them.

These are the people I see in uni everyday. I don't know them for long, but at least I know we treat people with our heart. After all, this is just a beginning of uni life. We still got a long way to go.

Imperfect yet the best and most perfect gift ♥

Across the ocean, just for me ♥

I've checked the mail box everyday without fail to look for this, it was something that I was looking forward to.

Your soft toys are cute enough to cherish me; your handmade card is enough to make my heart warm; your stars are enough to make me feel the love.

Ily, W.N ♥

Rain in my heart.

2010-08-18T23:14:00.002+08:00

Last night was horrible. I know it felt the same to somebody who is at the other side of the world.

I cried, sobbing quietly to myself under the blanket. I cried to sleep, woke up out of sudden in the middle of the night, I cried again and fallen asleep. Uncountable memories were playing back in my mind, I was so down.

I miss the people from the past and how things were a long time from now. I remember all the fun times I shared with these people and I miss what they call the good old days. I miss no matter how sad I was, there will always people around me, comforting me. I remember the moments we got drunk together, taking care of each other.

"When I first know you, you said you are going to Aussie study. Now, you are really leaving."

I left, and I've been here for almost 3 months. I still hold the memories, those are friends I love, and I still do, but I doubt things can ever be the same.

I was pretending all this while, trying to be strong as much as I can. Holding back as much as I could, but I will get hurt anyway. There were times when I need you, but you weren't there for me. I told myself, "It's gonna be alright, all you can do is smile."

No matter how hard I try, the rain in my heart is still here.

The corner.

2010-08-12T23:35:00.002+08:00

In every dream, I was back to the corner when I first saw you, wishing I could go back to the places we've been and freeze the corner so we can stay there forever. If one day you wake up and finding you're missing me, will your heart start to wonder where I could be?

The pictures of us are in my mind all the time, but they are getting blur as time goes by. We never spend much time together before we got apart, what we have were the few weeks of memories. Feelings are fading, things are changing but the love is getting deeper. I miss the most is the feeling being with you, and this is what I'm seeking all this while.

Most of the time, we are busy with studies, work and life. I'm glad you make an effort and spend a little time with me everyday. Although the time we talk isn't long, it's more than enough. What I miss is your voice, what I need is your comfort.

There were heartbreaking moments, and it leaded to sleepless night. Love without heartbreaking isn't perfect. We need it to build and grow a relationship. I still smile when you said something sweet no matter how angry I am. This is why I love you.

5 more months, and I'll be back to where I belong. I hope it means something to you on the day I'm back. I wish we could go back to the corner where it belongs to me and you.

One shot.

2010-08-08T20:06:00.003+08:00

My uni life has finally begun, and it's time to stress over assignments and examinations. Why can't my courses are based on examinations, so I don't have to do written assignment right? It's really tiring to write a very long essay and always worried about referencing. Sigh.

I've found a job at a chinese restaurant, introduced by a family friend. Oh well, I never like to work in a restaurant because it is so tiring. Because of that job, I missed my wushu training and may not get to participate the class. I'm going for a job interview tomorrow, hope it turned out good. I seriously need money so badly.

After a hectic weekend, I've decided to give myself a break and followed my cousin to her friend's birthday party last night. The party was held at Universal Bar and it was a private function. We got the whole second floor ourselves, a small dance floor and of course, a cool DJ. The best part of the party was we get free flow of drinks. Drink as much as you can, order whatever you want.

They got me a vodka shot at first, to the birthday boy. Next, I got myself a bottle of Stella Artois, introduced by William who claimed it is so so so nice. Surprisingly it doesn't disappoint me, Stella Artois is definitely a good try and it managed to keep me warm. Then, my cousin's friend got me 2 cocktails, both were in huge glasses. It took me a while to finish the 2 drinks.

Last night was a simple night. No kick, no dance, no nothing. I just enjoyed sitting down with music and have some drinks. Too bad I wasn't there with the person I want to be with. That was the only imperfection of the night.

My cousin and I with the bottle of Stella Artois.

FAT, have to on diet.

Group picture.

You will never know.

2010-08-02T20:18:00.011+08:00

"Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about the very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you" - tumblr.com

I pretend not to care, but it just won't go away. My dear heart, always ask me to care for it. Even if there's a thousand people in this place, I still feel alone without you. This how you affect me, so badly.

Every girls dream is to have a guy call her at 3am just to say, "Hey babe, I just wanted to tell you I love you.". Feel the warm and love, it makes you sleep better.

Love have no distance, even it is across the ocean.

每天熬过夜晚, 几乎踏入清晨才入睡.
没人晓, 只有我知道, 这不是我想要.
那么久不见, 你还记得那些温柔吗?
你的心到底还在不在, 我不停寻找.

如果你知道, 会不会更加珍惜?
心痛过, 哭醒过, 都是因为太在乎.
思念的心, 已经无法自拔.
你不会知道, 我的心境.

我们重新相遇的那天, 你还会在乎吗?
想太多, 梗住了呼吸.
不说爱你, 是怕伤害.
请你告诉我, 一切会安好.

如果你知道, 等待你的心还在燃烧.
逃不开等待的纠缠, 只有泪水在灌溉.
不要让它结冰, 只要你将我抱紧.
你不会知道.

笑, 并不代表我快乐, 每个笑容背后都有一段心酸的故事.

Love is a fire.

2010-07-28T23:16:00.005+08:00

"I hope I cross your mind once in a while just so that I won't feel pathetic for thinking of you all the time." - tumblr.com

Am I being pathetic all this while? Only you know the answer.

Love is a fire. You will never be able to tell when it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house. Everyone knows that, but they willing to take the risk to be in love. I'm one of the them who took that risk to love you. Will you warm my heart always, love?

Things weren't the same anymore compared to when I first reach here. You've changed, I've changed, we've changed. Although they are just some tiny changes, it does make some differences. I can't tell whether it is good or bad, maybe this is part of growing up, growing our relationship together. At least I know, I still have you.

Most of the time couples drift apart because of miscommunication. Words are blind, it doesn't have the power to hurt you, unless the person who said that means a lot to you. The pain can't be describe, but you can feel it deep down in your heart and tears started to roll down uncontrollably.

Remember the night we spent together in KL @ Luna Bar? Happy and memorable memories with both of you. That night was totally random and simple, but it turned out good.

Looking at the pictures make me miss home more, but do you know why do I want to go home so badly? Guess it, you will get it right.

The night view of KL from Luna Bar.

Menara Ambank :D

Playing with slow shutter.

Don't you love the colour of this picture?

Group photo at the stairs before we leave.

Blurred but I like (:

Ignore our ugly face, it's the flash problem.
♥

Rainy Day.

2010-07-26T21:34:00.003+08:00

突然间很想念这首歌, 南拳妈妈的下雨天.
是他让我认识这首歌.
他的出现短暂, 只逗留一会儿.
虽然我们已经过去, 可是我们赢得了友情.

记得他伤心难过, 总是会跑到我家诉苦.
记得他喝醉酒哭泣, 我默默聆听, 帮他分担.
记得我们不怕避忌, 天天见面.
记得他闹自杀, 我半夜偷偷从家里出来找他.
记得我们曾经笑过, 哭过, 闹过.

时间改变了一切, 我们的友情也随风离去.
他永远是我最爱的哥儿们, 相信我依然是他最爱的妹妹.

Bring me to cloud nine.

2010-07-25T21:48:00.012+08:00

Friend: Hey, where are you now?
Me: In the middle of the river.
Friend: What are you doing in the middle of the river?
Me: On the boat, trying to get back to the shore.
Friend: Boat? What kinda boat? BIG BOAT?
Me: Haha, you will see when I upload those photos.

So yesterday, I've done something that we usually don't do in Malaysia and it was my first time doing this. My cousin, her friends and I went to the river for sailing. It was a really great experience. We get to row the boat and see nice view along the river. I think it's super romantic activity for a couple. Get to see sunset, enjoy the view and row the boat together.

This is the shore.

Busy pumping air into the boat, FISH HUNTER!

Getting into the boat and the river.

Us, in the middle of the river. Is really middle without anybody, no joke.

Really love the view, especially the cloud.

This is how I spend my Sunday evening, a very productive and fun evening. Where can we get this in Malaysia ehhy?! :D

Tie me down.

2010-07-21T20:03:00.004+08:00

"I'm sorry sometimes I get a little jealous, thinking that someone else could make you happier than I could. I guess it's my insecurities acting up. Because I know that I'm not the prettiest, smartest or most fun and exciting girl. But I do know that no matter how hard and long you look, YOU'LL NEVER FIND SOMEBODY LOVES YOU LIKE I DO."

我爱过, 我等过, 我难过.
累了, 不想再走了.
痛了, 不想再理了.
但已来不及, 我已经陷入太深了.
我们还能像从前一样, 为明天疯狂吗?
我真的不奢求永远, 永远太遥远了.
迷失了自己, 再也看不清楚.
闪躲是应为害怕在爱迷失自己.
你的心到底在不在, 我的泪怎么掉下来.
男人不是不应该让女人流泪吗?

I'll wait, always and forever.

Let the bass kick.

2010-07-19T17:46:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday night was a blast. Alcohol, music, dance floor, this is how life suppose to be. Thanks Jocelin who organize a girls night out although it doesn't turned out successfully.

I really had lots of fun that night, it reminded me of clubbing with the usual bunch. I miss you guys, you know who you are :) It feels really good that you can dance madly and sing out loud with the girls like there's no tomorrow. I would say they are really really nice and friendly.

Clubbing in Australia is different compared to Malaysia. They don't open bottles or buckets. They order drinks at the bar, wine, beer, shots or whatever you like. Everyone has to pay cover charge before entering the club, no such thing as ladies night.

At Jocelin's place drinking shots before heading to the club. My favourite moment, have more than 10 shots. 20 perhaps?

The girls (:

They look so cute, aren't they?

Nicola and Tiff in the middle.

Yours truly and Nicola ♥

Lilian, Sarah and my cousin Demi outside Red Sea queuing. We were really freezing outside the club and the line is not moving at all. Hence, we decided to go Metros where all the Asians club there and this is when our girls night out failed because the guys were there!

At the very pack dance floor filled with Asians!

This club has 3 floors. Sound system and songs are definitely better than we have back in Malaysia.

Last photo of the day, taken in the washroom.

We went for supper after clubbing. People will start asking, I thought shops were all close at 5pm? Haha, I think so too but apparently they have few shops are 24hours, such as McDonald, Uncle Billy and The Kebab shop. We ended up having kebab before we went home.

Honestly, I still prefer clubbing in Malaysia. I can drink like nobody business without paying so much and most importantly I can wake myself up by having teh o' ais limau and maggie goreng pedas when I'm sober. Can't wait to club in Malaysia again :')

My happy pills.

2010-07-14T17:12:00.005+08:00

Decision made. Everything is going to restart again once I received my offer letter from Curtin Business School. I'm a business student now, no longer a communication student.

Well, it's not easy for me to make this decision. I really need lots of gut and support to make this decision. Thanks for those who gave me support and great advises. Although this is not what I want all this while, I still have to do it for my family.

I have 2 different feelings when I received my offer letter today. I was glad that I finally made it to Bachelor of Commerce. However, I was upset at the same time. I was really looking forward to achieve my dream, and now, everything is gone.

I never regret for studying in Taylor's for a year. I've met a great bunch of friends. They are really my happy pills. They are all now still in the field of communication, except for me. I'm really glad they are doing well and fine there. I miss you guys, Foundation in Communication Jan Intake 09 peeps (:

During our orientation night.

Caryn's sweet 18.

Amber and I during our class event.

Mich da jie ♥

Class photo for the last day of college.

Accompanied Wei Wen for his haircut.

Jasmine and Amber ♥

And this is Wei Wen.

Trip to Terengganu.

Group photo during our dinner.

Jasmine ♥

Sheena's sweet 19th.

The bunch at Republic.

My last time seeing both of them ♥

我爱的你 .

2010-07-12T13:10:00.006+08:00

现在窗外面又开始下着雨, 眼睛干干的有想哭的心情
突然看见我和你的照片, 仿佛一切回到我的身边
我多么想和你见一面, 看看你最近改变
对你说一句, 只是说一句, 好久不见

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻, 我都还记得
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
我可以抱你吗宝贝?
能不能给我一首歌的时间, 紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
还要多久, 我才能在你身边?

爱是不是不开口才珍贵
是你决定我的伤心, 快不快乐我无所谓
为了你开心, 我忘记了累不累

我真的真的不愿舍弃, 很想当天的一切能回味
想你想你苦痛, 等你等到心痛
我要的只是你在我身边
知道不能太依赖, 怕你会把我宠坏

我陪你走到最后, 能不能别想太多
会不会手牵着手晚一点再到尽头
好多好多的话想对你说
心里的眼泪, 模糊了视线, 你已快看不见

舍不得又无可奈何, 我会笑笑的离去
如果要走, 请你记得我
想到你想起我胸口依然温柔
我愿意等下去,
原来回忆是如此温馨.

Combination lyrics of the following songs:
如果没有你莫文蔚
原来我最爱的人是你不是他林健辉
好久不见陈奕迅

说好的幸福呢周杰伦
彩虹周杰伦
我可以抱你吗张惠妹
给我一首歌的时间周杰伦
晴天周杰伦

最长的电影周杰伦
是你决定我的伤心张玉华&李圣杰
你爱我像谁张卫健

等你等到我心痛张学友
枫周杰伦
你听得到周杰伦

白色风车周杰伦
如果你也听说张惠妹
轨迹周杰伦

借口周杰伦
三个字凌加峻
想你就写信浪花兄弟

Choices of life.

2010-07-04T23:56:00.003+08:00

Yesterday wasn't a pleasant day. It started with tears and it ended up with tears. It was my first serious emotional breakdown after I came here.

We have to make different choices in our life. Those choices determined our future, whether is right or wrong, whether you want it or not, you will still need to choose. Thanks for enlighten me, thanks for bringing up the problems I've been avoiding so far. I clearly know what I want now, but I will never give up on my dream. I'll be chasing it for the entire of my life, just that I'm not having it as my lifetime career.

"I will find people to talk to when I'm depressed. But when I reach to a certain extend, I'll hide myself and cry alone." - quoted by Jeffrey Tiw.

I've tried to find a good listener. Yet, I reach to a certain extend that I'm sobbing quietly myself. I felt relief after that. All this while I was running away from all the problems, never want to face it because I know it hurts. Finally, I've let go most of it now. The remaining shall be release someday at the right time :)

Still remember the rudesillystupid Rebekah Wong? Hehee :)
Taken by a not-so-pro-yet-to-be-pro photographer.

Never too late.

2010-07-03T21:49:00.002+08:00

不知不觉我离开家里已经一个月又三天了. 时间真的过得很快, 好像发了一场梦一样, 感觉昨天就像那天离去的那天.

5月29日晴

过了一个美好的晚上, 早上六点才入睡, 心里感觉甜甜的. 睡了三个小时, 又是面对残酷现实的时候. 这是我最后一次单独面对他, 把一切都交代清楚. 那一碗香喷喷的面和他忧虑的神情, 我永远都记得. 是我对不起你, 我内疚, 我忏悔, 但已无补于事. 一切已成定局, 为由看缘份的安排.

回到熟悉的工作地方, 和兄弟闲聊了几句. 虽然只有简单的几句, 但说出了我心底话, 一些我想分享的东西. 谢谢你的聆听, 只有你了解我一切, 兄弟.

午餐与朋友一起用餐. 短短的两个小时就已足够让我想起过去一年来美好的回忆. 我们一起上课,下课,赶功课的时候, 都是我怀念的. 后悔当初没有好好把握那一年, 要不然我会过得更好.

你的信息, 让我兴奋; 你的接送, 让我开心; 我们的约会, 让我心跳加速. 一路上, 我都很享受有你的存在. 我知道我们不可能, 我亦不需要任何承诺, 我只知道这是我要的感觉, 这次我找对了感觉. 走进人山人海的广场, 我们的手都擦身而过. 不知不觉, 你牵起我的手. 虽然时间短暂, 但的确是幸福的感觉.

你答应过我会带我去吃我想吃的东西, 结果我真的吃到了. 虽然那次我吃不多, 可是我永远都记得那种味道. 回家路上, 倾盆大雨, 车上播放着我们的歌, 你的手总是离不开我的手. 你安全的把我送回家, 那个吻, 是你留给我最后一样美好的东西. 你离去那一颗, 已经让我想你想得牵肠挂肚. 一个小时后, 你的到来, 你的眼神, 你的笑容, 是多么的温柔.

我永远都记得我去机场的那段路. 你给我的不舍, 我全感觉得到. 车上虽然不止我们两个, 但是手依然紧紧牵着. 虽然隐蔽, 但幸福, 因为是你给我的. 你手里的温度, 你牵我的方式, 我们的一切一切, 依然在我心里. 我们的第一拥抱是你给我的, 来得突然但真实. 我们最后一个拥抱是我给你的, 代表着我对你的不舍与爱.

一路走着, 我都不敢回头. 走到最后, 我回头搜寻你的眼神, 泪水早已模糊我的视线, 隐约看见你不舍的神情. 就这样, 我向你道别了. 再见了, 我爱的你.

宁毕

People who read my blog from the beginning, they know I don't blog in chinese. I do it now, because partially I miss home. It made me feel like being home again. I admit, I feel homesick. Well, who doesn't right? But baby, I miss you the most. No matter what happen in the future, I know you are the one I want now so badly ♥

You have my ♥

2010-06-29T12:56:00.002+08:00

This happen to me almost every night, but I still love you baby ♥

Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true. We are drifting apart each day, all we can do is work this out together. I know we can, because you said we can. & all I know, all of these are true, they never fake for even a second.

Tomorrow is the day. What would it be, I wondered.

Last word.

2010-06-23T01:00:00.002+08:00

別打開禮物的緞帶
最初充滿期待最後都腐敗
別打開午夜的電台
別讓情歌反覆再愚弄
而愛並沒有教給我生存
只教我交易虛榮給天真
可是愛讓我們變成陌生人
卻變不了更高尚的靈魂

不要吻我只要抱著我
不要愛我做我的親人
把手借我一天一分鐘
做我最親密的親人
不是誰的情人誰的某某某

就算我全身濕透透
我也不再被誰牽著鼻子走
如果我還握住拳頭
可能我怕我的夢飛走

而愛並不如你想的萬能
不能讓我們不再戰爭
可是愛連慈悲也沒多慈悲
誰愛越深越容易被犧牲

不要吻我只要抱著我
不要愛我做我的親人
把手借我一天一分鐘
讓我還敢做我的夢
做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄

不要吻我只要抱著我
不要愛我做我的親人
把手借我一天一分鐘
讓我還敢做我的夢
做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄

This is our lunar baby.

2010-06-20T01:55:00.004+08:00

I was on the way home back in the car sitting alone,
with the songs playing in the player.
I looked out at the window,
it was the same when I was on the way to the airport.
The only thing different is,
you are not with me holding me.

When I looked up to the sky,
I saw the moon.
Baby, it was the moon that we first saw.
Do you remember that night you hugged me tight?
You said you don't want me to go,
but I left at last.

There are so many things I want to do with you,
but too little time for us.
Baby, will you wait for me to come back?

My first time meeting with the bunch :)

Desire

2010-06-12T22:05:00.002+08:00

2 weeks before during this time, I was at the airport with my family and friends. 2 weeks later, I'm here at Perth typing this post. Can you see how fast time flies?

My friend envy that I can come here and achieve my dream. No doubt, this is my dream all this while. However, studying in this field wasn't my first choice. My first choice was to get myself involve in the psychology field. Because of some problems, I chose Mass Communication out of so many.

Being a director in the future? I know myself well, and I know I can't but I love to film. Being a great movie editor? Yes, this is what I'm looking forward but I won't earn money. So, what is this? It's hard to make a decision that follows your heart, because the reality is always cruel to you.

There's so many things are waiting for me to do and achieve. I've chose to come here, so I won't give up even though this path is ain't easy. Being strong is what I need to do now, but wearing a mask everyday is not something I want. How do I reveal my real self at this kinda situation?

I just need some support, from you. Anyhow, I know, I shouldn't ask for more already. I appreciate what I have now. Let faith decides the rest.

知足常乐

Ugly Truth.

2010-06-02T20:58:00.003+08:00

故事一开始注定没有结局何必那么在乎
人来人往相见是缘分
你我只能感叹缘分的婉转
我已办不到为何要勉强
你的温度我会保存你的回忆我会收藏

雨纷纷把感情都冲走
你又何必苦等枯萎的花草都取笑
别人的以为为何在乎
人生属于我是一场戏一场没结局的电影
没人理解不必有观众

人海茫茫你我一定会再相遇
不要落泪这对你我都好
坏人不好做为了你我愿意
只要你开心我一切安好
忍痛一时放开将来更美好

我不知道这一切是否我想要的，已经回不了头了.

Will we be the same again?

2010-05-31T17:44:00.007+08:00

Writing this post is ain't easy, because I don't want to accept the fact that I'm already left to Aussie.

What You Waiting For by Colby O'donis is currently repeating in my iTunes playlist while I'm typing. This song reminds me of last week I spent with my brothers and the day I'm on my way to LCCT. It was really fun and happy, but time always fly. I really hope I can rewind back to that week and pause it forever.

Oh well, many memories are playing in my mind now. At first it was Luna Bar with nice view, and of course Ampang Lookout point. Yoke Lim and William brought me to places I never been to and bring me to eat nice food. Appreciate it a lot bro :)

Another nice outing was clubbing at Opera. That night was really fun, just like I had it at Ipoh this Chinese New Year. Basically what I did the last week were drinking and eating. I really really do miss the moment, I wished I could fly back now.

I really appreciate you guys to make an effort to send me off at the airport, especially Yoke Lim who organized it. Thanks bro, I will never forget our 2 years friendship. And also Jeff who edit and upload the video whole night without sleeping. I really love the video :) Lastly, is you. You are an out of expectation to me, I never dream that this day would came into my life. And now, it's getting very important each day.

Sok K pose, *inside joke* :)

And lastly, the last group photo with them.

I'm really glad that I have such a bunch of good friends, I will never forget the memories we build together, especially you. It's just another 6 months and I'll be back home. Will it be the same again?

Feelings will fade someday, but I wanna appreciate it before it is gone.

Fool

2010-05-17T01:42:00.002+08:00

The clock is showing 1.42am now. This is gonna be an emo post, so leave it if it disgust you.

I hardly express myself here anymore, because there's no point to tell people how down I am. No matter what, I'll just keep it to myself. Leave a smile on my face everyday, this would be the best solution.

I have a lot to write actually. But, I just can't continue writing it. I don't have the guts, and I don't dare to face it. Forgive me for being such a coward, forgive me for doing everything. I just made a fool of everyone, including myself.

Zhao Tut ♥

2010-05-13T15:25:00.008+08:00

In case you guys didn't notice, I've changed my blog template. Mainly because I want to have a new look for blog which indicate my new life. Well, this is not my ideal blog template, just to replace it until I find one.

I just came back from Ipoh and Penang few days ago with my Boyfriend, Yoke Lim and William. We named this trip as Zhao Tut trip because what we do every night were drinking get drunk, drinking get drunk and drinking get drunk. The puke part was disgusting but at the end of the day, we all had fun :)

First day at Yoke Lim Ipoh house :

Getting ready to play Wii

With the fake tennis racket XD

At Di Nesh Club Ipoh:

My Boyfriend was drunk, poor thing ♥

Supper at Ipoh after club:

The next few days at Penang Kek Lok Si:

And the most interesting part was, we found a very nice pub called Sixty9ine Mansion. It looks pretty normal from outside but you will never guess what it has inside. It has a swimming pool in the pub and a place where they put tables and chairs on the water so you can drink on the water. It's pretty cool because we can hardly find a pub like this around the city here. You can drink and swim at the same time, you can even walk to the beach, that was the best part for the Penang trip.

Planning to have my farewell party here, but is it possible? Let me know :)

Starry Night

2010-04-30T19:40:00.003+08:00

30th, today is the last day of April. I have exactly one month here before I left. Too many things to do, and most of them are undone. It's time get all the things done by this month, or I will have to do it till I come back which is "I don't know when".

Last night was Ruben's birthday, and we went to EuroStar with the brothers. Didn't enjoy to the max because have to take care of the drunk boyfriend who get drunk before the happening moment. Walking here and there with water and coke were basically what I did last night.

Basically it is fun going clubbing with them because you can see all of them got tipsy one by one. It's either I down first or you down first that kinda theory. Haha, so Ruben and the boyfriend down last night. Who's next? *evil grin* :)

Only got 2 photos from last night, credits to Winnie :)

One night & One day.

2010-04-02T18:50:00.005+08:00

You know I'll miss the life in Malaysia, don't you? Especially with the brothers and boyfriend, I'll never get bored of it.

Drove up to Genting during midnight became one of our chilling activity. It is super cooling and relaxing up there during midnight, with the cool air blowing, you will definitely forget the stress in the city.

This trip up to Genting is a bit different because we have a pro photographer tagged along and we managed to took lots of nice pictures. Thanks to our new brother, Jeff Ong who took all this photos and make us get poisoned by DSLR.

Stick the tongue out?

♥

Will you believe if I tell you we were at overseas with this scenery behind?

After the trip to Genting, we went for singing session. However, it turned up to a photography session. The poison of DSLR :)

The Magical Moment

2010-03-27T23:54:00.003+08:00

时间其实真的很残忍，它不会为了你而停留
我们为了要赶上它，不得不停地追逐.

再没多久，我就要离开这里了.
心里有多么的不舍，每人能理解
也许离开是件好事，也是这是骗自己的借口
现在只能珍惜每一分每一秒，希望没错过任何东西
其实，你是否真的在乎我的离去.

有人说，照片是唯一让时间停留的魔法，
你认为呢?

Never too late.

2010-03-19T23:21:00.003+08:00

It's time to update my blog since everyone is complaining. My blog is freaking dead, I know. My blog reflects my life. You know how my life looks like when I don't update my blog, lifeless and dead.

Anyhow, everyone does talked about how they celebrated Chinese New Year and yada yada. Never too late to update my Chinese New Year post now right. So, I celebrated my Chinese New Year in a very different way this time. I've used most of my time shooting a video and spent most of my time drinking some sexy drinks with a bunch of awesome yet brainless people. How cool can it be? You can never imagine that ;)

Here are some photos taken during our video shooting, "The Making Of ..."

Nice scenery

This is my passion.

The Bond.

2010-02-11T23:14:00.003+08:00

Last year at this time, a few teenagers met each other and they start being good friends. Hanging out, yum cha and playing pool were what they always do. They introduced their friends to each other and start going out as a gang. A gang that always have fun with each other, being with each other no matter what happen. Eventually, a strong bond is tie between their friendship until now.

A gathering was held at Paccidally last night. Everyone made their effort to join this gathering and most of us attended. It was the happiest thing to see each other having fun, making lame jokes and gambling.

Cheers TBS, may our friendship last forever.

Bra Kor

Yoke Lim

You Wei

Papa Siong

Papa Siong and Papa

My thoughts.

2010-01-29T20:28:00.002+08:00

I read the Star everyday without fail, because I'm bored of my work. Reading the newspaper is the only thing I can do since there won't be any people looking for GPS early morning.

I stare at passerby everyday. I've noticed the way the person dress up reflects his/her attitude.

I need to do more shopping for Chinese New Year, but I really got no idea what to buy. I don't want to get a T-shirt again, it's too boring and dull. Something new and fresh perhaps.

Had my first unprepared photo shoot. Hope to do more photo shoot and learn more about editing from my cousins. Next location, Putrajaya?

Be confidence when talking to customer. I need to do more sales, so my salary can increase.

Not getting a Black Berry. My target would be E72. So, save money from now onwards.

'cause its you and me. I really hope we can go through all the hard times together for a better future.

Tuning into Marshal

2010-01-24T23:49:00.002+08:00

I've been start working since Thursday at Sunway Pyramid. Well, I really didn't expect of doing this job because it is not in my wanted job list. However, there were some coincidence and I got this job.

I'm happy with my job so far, especially it is fun to mix with my big boss and supervisor. They do not set rules for me and my time is very flexible. What I need to do is sell their GPS, and I've sold 2 GPS this few days. *joy*

Anyway, having full time job occupied most of my time. I did not get to spend much time with my family, boyfriend and friends. But I will think at the bright side, give face to my pay :D

I'm back.

2010-01-18T20:39:00.002+08:00

This is the first time I put my blog on hiatus for so long. It's time to blog and tell you how's my life is going on so far.

Anyway, other than sleep, eat and game, I went to work yesterday. I replaced my friend's job for a day, as a LG promoter in case you don't know. It was boring and tiring standing whole day holding the phone beside the counter. But it worth my time and energy because the pay is worth it.

Gonna apply for university and interview another job tomorrow. Hopefully everything goes well tomorrow, especially the job. I need money so badly.

New beginning of the year.

2010-01-01T15:05:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

It's 2010 already, why time always love to fly? Sigh. Anyway, a new year begins with a new start. I really hope 2010 will be nice to me, because I'm going far away from my family and friends. It would be tough for a person like me, especially I might have to leave my boyfriend :(

Looking back to 2009, I was a girl just finished SPM and started a new life in college without knowing anything. In this one year, I had experienced many wonderful/sad incidents and I get to know many new friends, especially TBS who bring me so many joy into my life. There was something I've done and regretted, but I learn to appreciate you more. I hope you do feel the same as me. Life isn't perfect. We learn all the way throughout our life, forgive and forget. Too many mistakes in 2009, I really hope I won't repeat the same mistakes in 2010 again.

Oh well, how do I welcome year 2010? ;D At first, TBS came my house to drink and play cards. We gambled and I lost few ringgit. Haha, lucky enough not to lost more than 10! And then, we decided to go Big Baby's area to see fireworks. We were late to his place but we get to see some fireworks in the car and I WELCOME 2010 IN THE CAR! Wth, same as Christmas eve whereby Big Baby and I celebrated Christmas in the car.

We decided to go Sunway and find a club to chill as June never been into a club before. However, her club virgin failed because the clubs were fully packed. At last, we went to a bar beside Barcelona. The environment in the bad is awesome and we had fun there. Few of our TBS member actually got high, zhao tut. Haha, :D

I really had fun last night, with Big Baby and TBS. It's my first year and last year celebrating New Year with Big Baby and TBS. I really hope next year I can come back on time and celebrate with them again, especially with you, bii.

I want nobody nobody but you.

2009-12-26T18:56:00.002+08:00

Things I want to buy or do before I go to Australia:

1. Buy a phone which support wifi. Blackberry, iPhone and N97 is my current top choices. Gahh, I really need the internet when I reach there. Especially use to keep in touch with the boy friend if he is not going :(

2. Buy an iTouch if the phones are not suitable. Oh well, at least iTouch has many functions. It has iTune, games, support wifi and yada yada. Most importantly, it is cheap (at least I can afford it). It costs only around RM700 :)

3. Buy a nice camera. Capture the people, the nice scenery and the culture out there. And I'll bet I need a camera for my studies. So yeah, I need it so badly!

4. Shop for clothes. The weather in Australia is slightly different compared to Malaysia, I still need the winter clothes to keep my body warm. Anyway, I'm gonna start a new life there. Hence, I need new clothes for my new life style ;)

5. Take a family portrait. My family doesn't has a proper family portrait, those that you take in the shop with nice dress or gown. Ahh, it will be nice for my family to have one, especially when my lovely grandma is still around :)

6. Go for many many trip! I want to enjoy my life to the max here before I start a new life there, where I need to work and study at the same time. I would like to go for trips with the boyfriend and the brothers & sisters. Just to have more fun before I go to a boring place :(

7. Spend as much time as possible with the boyfriend. He says he is coming with me, but who knows what will happen in the future right? I just want to spend the time I have now with you. 3 years, I'm leaving for 3 years. Will you wait for me, love?

It doesn't matter whether I leave or stay anymore. Making the right choice is the only thing that matter me.

I don't know how fast I can adapt to the new environment. With you being with me bii, I know I can do it. I still can do it without you, but it takes a longer time and it will be so suffering. I don't want to leave, you.

I just want you to be with me. Am I being selfish for this?

Jingle Bell Rawks!

2009-12-25T15:25:00.005+08:00

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!

Ahh, it's Christmas again. I want to have a white christmas, but hell, Malaysia is never gonna snow. Hmph.

I get to celebrate Christmas with my loved ones. Big Baby and I went to Pyramid on Christmas eve, just like last year. It reminds me lots of memories, the happy and the sad ones. Anyway, we did not celebrate our Christmas at Pyramid. We celebrated it at PJ, in the car driving around. Haha, we left Pyramid around 11pm because the mall was filled with lalas.

I sew it for Big Baby's Xmas present. It was a last minute present, so it looks ugly!

He put it in the car and named it: Shitty Ning. wtf, is a HE.

We were stuck at Pyramid's car park. Hence, it's time to cam-whore!

The next day, on the 25th, which is today, Mom decided to invite the kids to my house. It has been a long time seeing them together again :)

Little Sean.

He is so cute, isn't he? :)

High up on the hill.

2009-12-17T00:57:00.009+08:00

I went up to Gohtong Jaya for dinner with Big Baby, Yoke Lim, ViJune and Bryan last night. We had steamboat and it was nice eating hot stuff with cooling weather.

My son busy eating :)

Tom yam and soup, very nice.

Good image: FAIL

June du lan, don't want take picture :(

Bryan: eh, see my specs! faster take picture!
Big Baby: *snap a photo*

Chop stick fighting.

After dinner, we continue our journey up to Genting. I was quite disappointed because I can't see any mist when we were on the way up to Genting. Anyway, the night view and the cooling weather made me feel so relaxing.

We stopped at Genting Hotel and went down to have a cup of coffee. It was cigarette break for the guys.

Ash tray with coffee powder.

Bryan, cute or not?

It's time to cam-whore after cigarette break, before we go home :)

The brothers.

Spot me 1

Spot me 2

We zhao tut all the way back down ♥

This is all about having fun.

2009-12-16T13:12:00.019+08:00

It's about time to blog about my PD trip for the first time with my cousins and TBS. We were supposed to stay at Glory Beach Resort but the facilities weren't good. Hence, we decided to move to an apartment beside Corus Beach Hotel, which is cheaper and they have a sea view from the balcony.

Our first stop was at Sepang Goldcoast. This is my third time being here, and it gave me different feelings each time I came here. I really heart this place a lot.

Yoke Lim can cover June's whole body :P

We reached PD around noon and Big Baby brought us to one shop for "dirty mee". It is quite famous in PD. The price is cheap and the food is tasty!

The soup with seafood.

Mee, where we eat with the soup.

Our third stop is looking around for nice beach. No doubt, Terengganu has a cleaner beach then PD as PD beach is already polluted.

Our forth stop is REST at our apartment. It was so tiring that we traveled early morning until evening, especially Big Baby (the driver) who doesn't sleep the night before.

Sunset view from our apartment's balcony. Nice eh?

After dinner, we went to fun fair at PD. I've never been to a fun fair for nearly 10 years because I can't find it at Subang now. I wish Subang has a fun fair too.

I called it the Ball game. Big Baby was so lucky enough to win a big Mashimaro for me!

Drinking session was on after the fun fair. It was short because we were too tired to drink. Hah, our drinking plan actually failed.

On the second day, we checked out after our breakfast and we drove around PD. We found this beach where a couple was taking wedding photos with nice car. So romantic eh. hahaa :D

Monster monster monster!

2 days 1 night PD trip was too short but we really had lots of fun. We shall organize another trip again and this time we shall have a longer drinking session. Not to forget, we should watch sunrise together next time.

Walk of faith.

Candle light.

2009-12-08T00:03:00.009+08:00

Yes, you are not a kanak-kanak anymore June :)

A belated birthday post for ViJune, and thanks to her for providing the pictures. I stole it from her blog :X

Anyway, we went to Louisiana at Plaza Kelana Jaya for dinner. We accidentally found out this place when we were on our way back from Full House at Ara Damansara. We were seduced by the nice scenery and environment, and hence, we headed to this place for dinner to celebrate our kanak-kanak's birthday on the following week.

Louisiana

This is how my big baby treat me, how cruel is he! Hmph!

Yoke Lim

Kanak-kanak :D

I don't know why we are hugging like this!

The lake :)

Pattern kia.

Thanks to Yoke Lim's finger :)

Cheers TBS!

I like his expression, but I spoil the picture :(

Birthday cake, yeah June, inside joke :D

Make a wish.

I know she is happy, haha :)

Tell me you do.

2009-12-03T01:11:00.006+08:00

A belated post again. I got the pictures late, that is why I posted it up late. Anyway, big baby and I went to The Garden at OU for lunch to celebrate our anniversary. It really looks like a garden with fake grass and flower.

Happy belated 2 year and 3 months anniversary big baby :)

House with love.

2009-11-26T19:38:00.016+08:00

Anyway, this is a belated post which belongs to Tuesday.

I went to Michelle's place for Wei Wen's birthday lunch at 2. Food was great, I love it. Thanks Michelle for serving the 8 of us. I really don't know when can I meet all of you again. Miss you guys a lot, really.

After lunch, Big baby and I went to Ara Damansara because he wants to show me how dead Ara Damansara is. It is really really dead but we found something to do, which was took pictures with Disney cartoon statue. We were the only 2 who camwhore with the statues and some of the workers were looking at us. They think we were crazy but we were bored you see.

Us with Mickey and Minnie

He likes to imitate Donald Duck.

Cute right? Hehee

I pull his nose :D

After that we went to One Utama to get New Moon ticket as I mentioned in the previous post. Later, we met up with Yoke Lim and June. We planned to go The Cave for dinner but I wanted to try out Full House so we went to Full House instead of The Cave.

Cute menu, just like a magazine.

The guys ordered chicken chop,

and the girls ordered spaghetti.

Of course, we camwhore after dinner.

Poser hubby!

Can you see how short am I?

Lastly, group photo :)

By the way, I've watched New Moon this morning. I was disappointed, and I don't like Robert Pattinson. I like Edward Cullen but not Robert Pattinson.

I'm not a good girlfriend,

2009-11-25T14:41:00.003+08:00

I'm not a good person as well.

Our love story wasn't perfect. I was a betrayer, I hide myself underneath when I've done something wrong and wish it never happen. I'm ashamed of myself. I couldn't face myself until now; I couldn't forgive myself for hurting you so badly. I tried to make it up to you; I tried my best to build up your trust towards me; I tried my best to please you. I really hope you will forgive me.

I knew I can't be the one you wished. There were a few times we decided to let go. I hold it back because I knew I couldn't stand see you leaving my life. It will be very empty and dull without you. I truly know one day you will tell me you are not coming back. You will not beg me and want me back, I know it clearly. I don't blame you, I know you are too tired. You have done so much for me, but I've do nothing for you.

You know me too well my dear, don't you? I'm glad you did appear in my life. I don't want any regrets in my life, do you know that? I will still hold on as long as you do not give up on our love.

Through The Tree - Low Shoulder, Jennifer's Body.

Fast update.

2009-11-25T00:44:00.005+08:00

Guess what, I got Twilight Saga New Moon ticket! Thank you big baby for buying the ticket for me before the tickets are sold out.

I'm not really a big Twilight fans you see. I just want to know how they film it. I got a feeling that this movie is not going to be as nice as the first movie. Gahh, anyway I can't wait till Thursday :)

Random facts of me.

2009-11-20T22:34:00.006+08:00

Random fact #1

I need a new specs. I'm really bored of wearing contact lens and I think it spoils my eyes. I couldn't get a pair of specs until I've save enough money for it because I already have 2 specs with me at home. Reason why I don't want to wear those 2 was because it looks ugly on me, and I don't think my dad will buy me another specs. So I have to save money for that.

Random fact #2

I'm so hungry right now. I've had my dinner just now but it wasn't full. I think I'm going to have supper since I'm so HUNGRY but I'm on diet. Urghh, this is annoying u know.

Random fact #3

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow because I finally get to meet big baby after 5 days. I want to go for a movie with him, 2012 and karaoke. It is impossible to do 2 stuff in one day so we have to choose either one for tomorrow. I miss him so much. Can I fast forward the time, please? :)

Random fact #4

I want to go for another trip with big baby or who ever it is. I got so bored staying at home and I tend to think a lot and become emotional. This is when big baby and I start a fight which tore me apart.

Random fact #5

I just got back from Kuala Terengganu. This trip is really awesome with this bunch of noisy people. It took us about 4 hours to reach Awana Kijal but it worth my time. We went there during the monsoon season so it rained all the time. We couldn't go to the beach but we had lots of indoor games, such as charades, card games, truth and dare, and twister. Basically, we all had fun :)

Spot me playing Wei Wen's psp.

I'm hiding.

2009-11-15T14:57:00.003+08:00

This will be very personal. No offense to other, I'm just being myself here.

I wasn't happy for the past few days. Forgive and forget, this is what we learn since young. In this case, I can forgive but I couldn't forget. The background voice, your tone, the words are haunting me every day and night. Nothing can make it up to my heart. Time shall heal everything.

I'm currently very obsessed to Eric Lim. Aww, get me his autograph please ;(

It is good to be a Chinese.

2009-11-14T20:29:00.003+08:00

....why? Because you can understand different type of language and you listen to both Chinese and English song as well.

I'm chinese educated since young and I used to listen to all types of Chinese song. I stopped tuning in to Chinese radio station since high school. But, I never stop admire this 2 singer. The first singer of course is Jay Chou ♥. And the second singer is Eric Lim.

He is a Malaysian. He became famous after he joined a singing competition in Taiwan. He doesn't win but as a Malaysian, I'm proud of him because he manage to defeat many contestant from different country. Aww, I have to say, he is superb cute.

Me and you.

2009-11-10T11:51:00.012+08:00

A very belated birthday post for my big baby - Han Siong. I delayed this post for almost a week because I received the pictures late and I was sick.

Big baby and I spent our day at Pyramid. We basically did was watched a movie - Jennifer's Body, arcade, lunch at our favourite place - Sushi Zenmai, bought big baby a shirt at Kitschen and dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp.

Lunch at Sushi Zenmai:

Heart this picture because it is hard to see him smile in the picture

Dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp:

Surprise birthday cake :)

Look at his monster expression.

Big baby and I ♥

Big baby and the brothers.

Big baby and the sisters :)

Bii, may your wish come true and hope you enjoy :)

Last day with this bunch of monkeys.

2009-11-06T21:34:00.011+08:00

6th of November, last day of Foundation. And today might be the last day in the college for me. I hate to say goodbye to all of you, because I know I will miss all of you so much.

Other than having our finals, we cam-whored. Yes, all of us cam-whored in the library while we were supposed to do revision. Of course, some pictures were too funny and we just laugh out loud and ignore the rules in the library.

Thanks Jasmine for her Macbook. We manage to take 198 pictures at the end of the day with her Macbook. Super? Hahaa.

Smile when you can.

2009-11-04T00:12:00.005+08:00

This post is gonna be a big joke. Oh well, my brother went to his gay partner house and he wants me to accept the webcam out of sudden. I accepted it of course, trying to figure out what was he going to do. And his gay partner, Bryan turned out showing weird emoticons on the webcam screen and my silly brother, Yoke Lim showed his joker talent.

Yoke Lim and Bryan - The Jokers.

Dedicated to a bunch of noisy teenagers.

2009-10-31T19:20:00.010+08:00

to the second friend i've made in college and the first to teach me pool: i remembered first meeting you at B2 cafe and having lunch with you and dior. you reminded me of my sister, i recall feeling, and in the end i find that you really are like one to me. in one word: TRUST.

- Michelle, thank you. Your smile is what I always remember. I still can remember your outfit at B2 cafe and Dixie with long hair. I know it is weird that I still remember that, but hey, I think you look cool. Haha, Da Jie :) -

Dear fellow classmates, I'm not good in putting feelings into words, especially feelings toward you guys. So I guess, pictures will do the job.

Looking forward for our last semester group photo! :)

I just need one more day.

2009-10-30T22:01:00.007+08:00

Yes, I finally got a new blog layout. Not the perfect one as many people has this as their blog layout before, but at least it is something new for me and it does look a little cheerful. Hehee :)

I am hesitating. Stay or leave. I really don't know. I don't want to say goodbye to all of you and I hate it. Life is all about decisions. You have to make decisions in order to move on to the next stage of life. Which ever my decision is, I know I am going to regret.

I regretted most all of time, moments that can't bring back to current anymore. There are two things that I wanted to do so much. But I know, it is too late. I wish I can be like you guys :')

Happy moments, :)

Never know why it’s coming down.

2009-10-28T20:44:00.004+08:00

One more week, and I'm going to end my foundation, end my college life. I've kept wanting to know how college life is like when I was at form 5. And now I knew the answer. Different people from different background, merged together, separated into groups, lastly, we are all united. I would say my college mates are awesome. I would never want to leave them but I've come to the path, where I have to decide which way to go.

If you were to ask me, I would choose to stay. Reasons? I like what I am now, with friends, family and familiar environment where I belong to. However, sometimes, I can't do what I wished. I have to go, for my future, a better life and him. Maybe I'm too tired of what I am now, my life, hence, leaving is a better choice.

I knew I have to make up my mind before it is too late. PARENTS, one of the biggest problem I'm facing now. Do I have a choice? Yes, you have given me a choice but is that really a choice? Every single words you said stressed me out, it seems like I have to go or else I will be fucked up here. You have given me no choice, and I had to follow. Because I love you both, mom & dad.

Yet, I'm glad that I have him. You changed your mind because of me. I can see the efforts that you have done for me. We will work this out and go through this together, right?

So why do I try, I know I’m going to fall down.